RITUALS

Most pagans recognize the importants of rituals and symbols in their lives, and these are especially important, I think, at times of grieving. Of course, in times of intense emotional pain we sometimes forget these things, or can't think what to do, so I have included this page to give some suggestions.

THE BURIAL/CREMATION ROBE. When Wel died, I made a simple robe of red velvet with gold ribbon and red braid trim -- the red to represent our love for him, and gold to represent his bright sunshiny energy and the Sun god. I am not an accomplished seamstress, so I chose a simple design. Taking a cloth twice his length, I folded it over, cut a square neckline (this is easier than a round one), and stitched the sides together, leaving holes for his arms. Then I just hemmed the edges and tacked on the trim, and had a gold ribbon to go around his waist, tied in the style of our tradition. Each person who loved Wel was able to put a few stitches into the robe, even those who said they couldn't sew, and it was easy to explain to non-pagan friends and family that the stitches represented our love for him.

THE HONOR ALTAR. On our fireplace hearth, which is in the West (gateway to the Summerland in our tradition), we placed a basket in which were placed pieces of gold pyrite and coins for Charon the boatman and statues of our patron gods and goddesses. We placed next to it a candle, and some of our favorite snapshots of Wel, and flowers, symbols of love and remembrance, and gifts for Wel's journey to the Summerland were placed around it. We left this up until after the funeral, after which we returned the flowers to Earth, put his gifts for the journey into the cauldron, and returned our icons to their places on personal altars, shelves, or wherever.

GIFTS FOR THE JOURNEY. As well as the gifts which folks placed on the hearth, we had a special part of the funeral ceremony during which anyone who wanted to send a gift to the Summerland could come and place that gift into a cauldron, which was then closed. For a child who is buried, these items should then be placed into the grave with him or her, or if the body cremated, another ritual can be held later, during which the items are buried in a special place, thrown into the sea, or whatever works for you.

EULOGIES. Instead of having one person give a Eulogy, make a place in the funeral ceremony for anyone who desires to get up and speak his heart. This is very healing, and gives folks an opportunity to share with family and community what they might not have otherwise.

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